if i am lucky, i can get the keiki a bottle ready, make her a little bed on the playroom floor, put on her favorite movie BRAVE and then sneak out to do chores and check the compost.
sometimes i catch myself feeling guilty. i remind myself why we moved to the country. we didn't move here to pop a movie on to get the kids out of our hair while we got more important things done. (terrible i know but i would be a liar if i didn't admit that i thought it from time-to-time.) i also think to myself how much faster and easier it would be if i just did it "real quick" without the lil' one right under foot, then the guilt comes, but i majority of the time just ignore the pangs of guilt and run out and get everything done.
is my child inside suffering because i am outside...no. is she inside thinking about how much of a burden she is...no. she is watching her disney movie, enjoying her milk. she may not understand what she is missing out on, but mama does.
so this morning i decided to NOT put a movie on, but to dress her, bundle her up, get her water cup ready, grab the blanket for the wagon, grab the chicken scraps, water and egg basket. after getting ALL this stuff together, putting on some music for us to listen to while doing our chores, we headed out.
we, or shall i say she had a good time. mama was busy cleaning up chicken poop while she was drinking her water and laughing at the dogs. after our work with the chickens was done, we headed to go see gypsy...
gypsy is our jennett, our female donkey. she is soooo loved it is ridiculous. i have recently done some studying up on donkeys, and they by far a pretty cool animals. we got her a few weeks back and she is doing great!
(here she is in a trailer we borrowed in order to get her here. she was NOT happy!)
(here is daddy trying to calm her before putting her in the pen)
anyhow, back to my post.
so after we cleaned gypsy's pen and gave her some food, i realize i never let the keiki hand feed her before. i had grabbed some carrots out of the garage refrigerator prior to coming out so i decided i would let her. after positioning her on my hip and correctly placing the carrot in her little hand, we moved closer to gyps and waited. after a few *sniffs* she gently took the carrot and began chewing. the baby smiled so large i thought she might hurt herself, and it was at that moment that i realized that all this hard work, all this sacrifice and blood and sweat served a much bigger purpose. our purpose here was not only reconnect to our self-sufficient roots, but to teach our children what was really important. family, faith and hard work were just a few things that we longed for our children to have, and because i didn't want to take the time to dress her warmly or to walk a little slower due to her persistence of walking rather then riding in the wagon, i was robbing her of the very lifestyle that we worked so hard to attain. it was then and there that i vowed to S-L-O-W D-O-W-N even more. i decided to embrace my motherhood and to bring her with me more. i decided that i would give her every opportunity i could to connect with the animals, the garden, the farm...all of it! i owed her that, i owed all the children that.
after a lot more giggles and nose wiping, we headed back to the house, but not before she decided to dance for me. she loves music, always has, and she lets you know it.
i thanked the Lord today for helping me realize the importance of being right here, right now. i thanked Him for her, for my family, for our health and most importantly i thanked him for the lesson learned today.
i hope you all have a fabulous day.
peace and love to you all!